Bag o' Beans: Made Fun, Easy And Memorable.

March 18, 2022

A Rare Item Worth More Than A Hill Of Beans

The expensive rare item Bag Of Beans needs a friend - most of the time it is far worse than an uncommon item. You can roll three beans and it can summon a tea spewing spigot, an angry statue and an off-colour vampire. Fortunately, the GM / DM is invited to 'create an effect'. If you look at this item you will probably want to ramp up all of these sad, sad beans.

Here is a brief overview of the 5e Original BeanBag:

This 'cloth' (wool? cotton?) bag has 3d4 dry beans.

  • The bag: 1/2 pound.
  • Each bean is 1/4 pound.

Dumping bag-contents causes 10' radius / 5d4 fire damage - save on DC 15 Dex. (half damage) - this explosion burns objects not worn or carried.

Planting single bean (in dirt &/or sand + water) produces one effect from that spot 1 minute later. The GM chooses an effect, determines this randomly, or creates an effect.

015d4 toadstool-mushrooms:
- half poisonous: DC 15 Con-save for 5d6 poison damage + poisoned (1 hr).
- half give 5d6 temp. h.p. (1 hr.)
02-101d12 rounds of 'geyser':
- water, beer, berry juice, tea, vinegar, wine, or oil - 30 ft. spray.
- 50% Chaotic Good / 50% Chaotic Evil
21-30Animate statue (immobile / stone) / has appearance of item 'owner' or bean planter
- makes verbal threats against owner
- will describe owner as vile, heinous villain (to any audience)
- directs any audience to find &/or attack owner
- statue knows owner's location (if on same plane of existence)
- duration: 24 hrs. (statue remains / inanimate)
31-40Campfire (blue flames) - 24 hr. duration (max.)
41-501d6+6 shriekers.
51-601d4+8 pink toads / if touched become < huge monsters
- toads &/or monsters disappear in 1 minute / ten rounds in a 'pink smoke' cloud.
61-70 bulette - attacks from below
71-80Tree - 1d10+20 fruits:
- 1d8 random potion-fruit
- one an ingested poison-fruit
- tree lasts 1 hour / fruit 30 days.
81-90Nest & 1d4+3 eggs - if eaten DC 20 Con save:
- success: increase lowest ability score by 1, permanently (random if equally low).
- failure: 10d6 force damage
- 60 sq. ft. base
- contains: mummy lord & lair / treasure
00Bigly Beanstalk - height of GM's choice.
Top has:
- a great view. That's it... a great view!
- a cloud giant's castle
- different plane of existence

Let's do this again, shall we? Hopefully each bean generates an adventure. You may want to have each bean-type only function once per bag created-discovered. You may also want to include extra beans grown with the event of other growing things. For example, under the 'shriekers' one may find another 1-4 beans under each one.

d100Possible Alternate &/or Extra Effect (with explanation)
015d4 toadstool-mushrooms:
- half ShadowStool / poisonous: DC 15 Con-save for 5d6 poison damage + poisoned (1 hr).
- On 'crit save' (natural 20) gain permanent hit point - up to hit dice maximum e.g. a 5th level barbarian (hit die = d12) with 18 constitution (+4) has: [12 x 5] + [4 x 5] = 80 h.p. max. A 20th lvl barbarian with 30 Con has 240 + 200 = 440 max.
- half ShineStool give 1 hit point per round - regenerates even a dead body - even if digested or disintegrated (1 hr. / a medium corpus body is worth 10 hit points, regenerates in one minute - small in 30 seconds, )
02-101d12 rounds of 'geyser':
- 2-8 plants sprout / each is thick and rubbery / liquids spew out of the 'buds'
- water, beer, berry juice, tea, vinegar, wine, or oil - 30 ft. spray.
- grows out of a vine-like plant that spews through tubing / hose - able to choke the substance off off until suitable container is found
- tea magic: mixes with potions on the 'mixed potions' table with +13% on the roll (good for mixing ten potions).
- wine magic: gives a pleasurable intoxicated state after one drink (save DC 15 - 'poisoned'). If poisoned, imbiber has disadvantage on intimidation &/or persuasion rolls.
- Goodberry juice magic: made from Goodberries, as per spell. Drinking one glass-cup gives the same effect as eating one spell-berry. Good for 24 hours / 10 drinks.
- oil magic: makes any surface slippery as though Grease spell had been cast. 2-8 applications of this spell / if stored in glass this oil keeps potency for seven years.
- beer magic: save vs. suggestion (DC 15) or agree with anything you are told as per spell over the next minute.
- vinegar magic: if drunk it cures any disease. Keeps for seven years of kept in glass or ceramic bottle.
- 50% Chaotic Good / 50% Chaotic Evil - OPIONALLY 'insane'
- Insanity: cycles back and forth between the two states and the treant knows it:
- can be cured via dispel or remove curse or any similar magic (DM choice) - anti-magic may suppress it
- whilst attacking (in 'evil' state) the tree will ask group to flee / warn them / say that it cannot help itself.
- if saved from the curse it reverts permanently to Chaotic Good and is charmed & friendly: the now re-Awakened tree is charmed by the person who cured the tree for 30 days or until you or your companions do anything harmful to it. When the charmed condition ends, the awakened creature chooses whether to remain friendly to you, based on how you treated it while it was charmed. (similar to Awaken spell)
21-30Animate statue (immobile / stone) / has appearance of item 'owner' or bean planter
- will give a quest (geas) to anyone who requests it, seven maximum / each supplicant gains one 'good' adventure helping people in need / +1 to lowest ability score during quest / permanent if completed (possible once per statue)
- is aware of all failures, flaws and shortcomings of the creature that planted the bean and has high paladin-like requirements of said person (even if they are an assassin).
- sends quest giver on three (3) class appropriate quests that change alignment to any of the 'goods' (NG, LG, CG).
- statue knows owner's location (if on same plane of existence)
- duration: until three quests are completed. Once complete the marble & brass statue remains. Anyone touching the statue will (statue remains / inanimate)
31-40Campfire (blue flames) - 24 hr. duration (max.). Once fire dies there are 2-8 Everstones: these shine with the light of Continual Flame - they shine brighter and different hues of blues when specific creature-types come within medium range (60') to them (dragons, fiends, celestials, fae - pick one per stone / roll d4)
41-501d6+6 shriekers.
Options (pick one or more):
- Shriekers are Awakened and are charmed by the planter for 30 days, as per spell
- Each shriekers is mutated with ability to sing multiple perfect notes, albeit very loudly. Roll animal handling to teach them songs - you can make bank by selling the offspring as a downtime adventure.
- Shriekers are a special puffball variety that grows really fast. You can make amazing meaty-ish vegan-style food out of them and easily grow more.
- Shriekers release spores when upset, similar effect to magic mushrooms except the hallucinations manifest themselves as long-long lasting illusions. Those who fail DC 15 save will cast one such Programmed Illusion and remain intoxicated / poisoned for 1-4 hours.
51-601d4+8 pink toads / if touched become < huge monsters
- toads never disappear / when touched by something the toucher summons an extra planar creature - then they become 'normal' (albeit pink) toads
Summoned monsters appear based on saving throw (DC 15):
failed save = toad-toucher summons their Challenge Rating, one fiend
save failed 5 or less below their modified DC = multiple fiends
'crit' 1 = major fiend / demon lord representative, that is willing to make a deal
successful save = your DC of celestials that will help the group should they be neutral &/or good and are willing to perform a quest / adventure to help the innocent, oppressed &/ downtrodden
'crit' 20 = representative of good deity or archangel = willing to add permanent magical enchant one favourite item for group (item can be magical or not, extra magic works in addition to what is already in item) for those who are of 'good' alignment at the END of the quest (quest will be convoluted enough to require one abandon any alignment that is not NG, LG or CG)

Summoned creatures leave when defeated, destroyed or when they choose to leave. They do not return easily, but they will remember bargains, help, cooperation... &/or slights, misfortunes &/or wrongdoings.
61-70 bulette
- has a rune-engraved, indestructible, weirdly shaped 'ball' in its mouth and wants to play fetch
- 'ball' is, in fact, a dragon's egg: bulette will become the guardian
- bulette is friendly with party but will not fight with / for them unless fed, treated well and party makes three successful Beast Mastery rolls, three days in a row.
71-80Tree - 1d10+20 fruits:
- 1d8 random potion-fruit
- one an ingested poison-fruit
- tree lasts 1 hour / fruit 30 days.
- fruits can be juiced and blended with a Goodberry to last a week longer.
81-90Nest & 1d4+3 eggs - if eaten DC 20 Con save:
- success: increase lowest ability score by 1, permanently (random if equally low).
- success side effect: target remains surprisingly cheerful and happy (regardless of their thoughts, actions or situation) for 1-4 weeks
- failure: 10d6 force damage and gain a mutation:
- failure side effect; part of body destroyed and replaced with a magical golem-like artificial limb. If an eye is destroyed, it is replaced by an Ersatz Eye. Regeneration spells cause the destroyed organ or part to re-grow as normal, leaving the artificial part (market value 200 g.p.) lying nearby.
- 60 sq. ft. base / appears as tetrahedron
- contains: mummy lord & lair / treasure
- 'pyramid' is actually the top half of an octahedron (shape of a d8)
- space inside is a demi-plane and contains the space of a great skyscraper in size
- 'pyramid' is actually a prison, though it is spacious &/or luxurious inside
- contains a few servants - golems, permanent Unseen Servants and animated objects that are enchanted with animated sword style magic.
- Mummy lord has been slain and turned undead against their will for terrible crimes committed (against admittedly horrible people).
- The mum-lord claims s/he cursed an evil noble family and swore he would gain revenge.
- since then the kingdom has turned good, just, fair, abolished slavery, etc.
- mummy unsure how his or her curse breaks. Slaughter the remaining nobles? Destroy the kingdom? You can have the kingdom with a curse as well and multiple adventures to break such. The nasty surviving-exiled nobles will do whatever they can to stop you - imagine that they are powerful priests &/or warlocks.
- the curse lifts leaving the former mummy restored to youth and life via Reincarnation ('body turns to dust') and can live out the remaining years as an elf. The periapt heart, if it survives, turns to a fist-sized sculpted ruby with some uncommon enchantment-magic.
00Bigly Beanstalk
- height appears to be 10 000 feet but climbing-experience is much shorter, less than half of that as both oddly light gravity (as if under the lightness of a constant Feather Fall spell) and the shape of the vine assist.
- shape of vine is weirdly climbable / no climb rolls needed / leaves-vines try to catch those who fall with +5 vs. their AC / feather falling lasts until player touches solid ground or catches another branch, AC 5).
- vine has many 'strands' and each leads to a different sky castle or sky thorp
- all the vines were enchanted by the giant-kin as a means to keep in touch before the fall of their mighty kingdom, before the war against the draconic
- this vine (the one players planted) leads to a cloud-giant that was banished for his horrid evil and LARGE fiend summoning with erotic-condemnable contact with such.
- giant is slightly 'friendly', but only if he &/or she can enslave them. They like growing them up to giant size or shrinking them down to the size of a tiny bird and locking them in cages. If it is clear that this is not possible, this evil cloud giant will eventually kill any who do not comply to their twisted desires, whatever that may be.

Note The entire point of the beans (whether or not you modify them) is that they create a giant bean stalk that reaches to a giant monster with a giant horde. Requiring that one plant about 10+ rare magical bag's worth of them is not how the original grim-tale became a legend, is it?

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